Only The Best Lesson Ever Again
by Anton o.o
Summary: Allen, Kanda, Lavi and many more calssmembers are having a 'sexural education' lesson. This is a carry-on from VersaFfion story, Only the best lesson. alright Fans, its finally complete, the class is dismiss yay 10,000 words


Title; Only the Best Lesson Again

Background; (manga) D. Grey Man

Notes; carry on from Pips' "only the best lesson" – VersarFfion

VersarFfion is a co-writer/ semi-beta-er of this story - ^^ woo!  XP . (\_/) *smiles* *hugs* *sneezes on shoulder* *#~%!!!* Aka. Fvck

=( '-' )=

I would recommend reading "only the best lesson" before reading this, but, it's your choice.

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As dawn breaks, Allen is still in his bed (extremely drowsy from what Lavi forced him into going to a complete rave the night earlier), Kanda is practicing his sword skills in his garden and panda is watering his loyal, but cursed, plant. Allen groans and realises that he has a "sexual education" lesson today.

It's break time and many footsteps clapper on the other side of the science department door. Within the yellow room of the science department are all of the students (including Allen) awaiting their unusual lesson of the month. Allen, slumped on a table at the rear, surrounded by an army of empty polystyrene coffee cups. This was Allen's' attempt to waken himself from his slumber, obviously it has fail and back fire on him. Kanda, sat in the farthest corner so he can scowling at every student coming ready for their lesson, in an attempt to scare them from entering the room.

Moments later, the door edged open and Lavi poked his head around the door, expecting the worst knowing that Kanda's destructive range is two miles minimum. He choose to scan the room he was about to embark into. He started from the right hand side of the room and checked every face that entered his view until his eye laid upon Allens' figure spread across the table like the poor rats that had to challenge the previous week. A large grin started to grow across his face as many wondrous devilish plans ran though his mind. He steps casually towards Allen whilst tying to choose how to pronounce himself to his quite classmate. Once in striking distance, Lavi attempts to awaken Allen from slumber by saying, "wow, Allen, you look worst than panda after that fight he just started on the canteen." Allen didn't say anything but groans, still too early for him to do much else. The bell fires a rapid ringing throughout the entire school to inform them that third lesson has started.

As the bells finished their parade, Lavi realises an important fact that he would like to share with everyone about their teacher for that lesson, "we aren't being taught by Komui. He's off sick, or on holiday? Either way, it's not going to be him" Kanda enlightens them with, "I heard that it's a new teacher who is really good at what he does." Every one in the room nods agreeing. Kanda is so shocked at everyone's approval that he attempts to stare at every individual person in the room, even though he doesn't properly understand why everyone is approving him.

The door swings open and the Earl glides in on his highly colourful umbrella and greets everyone, "good morning class" and smiles as he lands peacefully in front of the whiteboard. Kanda turns to the Earl, still glaring at anything that moved. After a brief moment, Kanda realises who he was glaring at. It was the Earl! Kanda stood up in a swift movement and threatens the Earl with, "I should kick your ass, fat usagi!" he draws his sword from the holster and squats down into a battle ready stance. The Earl panics and quickly tries to calm him down, "wow! Hold on there, I got fired!" Kanda was just about to activate his innocence and attack the Earl when the word "fired!" hit his ears. Kanda stops, staring at the Earl as if he knows something that no-one else knows (that he doesn't). Kanda interrogates him with, "what do you mean?" still thinking that it's a trap. The Earl Splutters thanking that he is still there, "I... I... I was kicked out of the family after I accidently sneezed and made everyone there, including my beautiful Akuma, ill and unfit for battle for months. They agreed, behind my back of cause, that I should leave the family." He sighs whiles rethinking of his final hours before he became redundant. "So, I checked on some old documents and found that I had Kept and fount that I have a Masters Degree in teaching, I came to the closest school and... well... gave in my application form. So here I am." The Earl takes his hat, allowing his ears to rise to full height, and takes a bow to his first class. Extreme silence had hit that class room hard like an unavoidable bomb shell. As the Earl returned to his up-right position, he noticed that all eyes were stuck in one fixed point on the Earl except for Allen's, who was staring straight up at the ceiling. The Earl encourages Allen to wake up by passing him some extra strong caffeine pills to get Allen posed for class. "It says that these should last until the end of this lesson" the Earl noted whiles watching Allen swallow the large, brown, missile like pills.

As soon as Allen bounces of the table in an energetic pounce of faith, the Earl Whistles to acknowledge that he is ready to start and then ten new, level 1, Akuma (human form) entered the room carrying trays full of equipment for the day. The Earls Akuma continued into the room and placed the steel orange trays on the front desks and takes out two to three clamps each and set out to attach them on to the tables, these would be used to hold down their 'learning equipment' for that lesson. Once the akuma had finished their task they returned to the front and gathered around one tray in particular. This tray had a large, white cloth on it to hide its' content. When the Akuma were able to surround the storage device, the white sheet flew straight up as many items of one shape and one size got passed back and quickly fastened to the clamps securely and tightly as possible. Before the class knew it, the Akuma task had finished but they were left if a disturbing item attached to the table.

As everyone's eyes fell to one of the most distinct items known to man (well... more distinct to women than to men). There was a chilling shiver flowed down everyone's backs as their head fell and the sight of the tall object that was now bolted in front of them. A group of girls in the corner of the room could do nothing but giggle silently at their new toy as the entire class continued in complete silence. The Akuma had attached a 12 inch dildo to the newly attached clamp. Kanda's frown of Physical anger soon changed to mental torture as it shifted to a downwards position at the entity. A small dribble of sweat travelled down his face as his entire body froze upon eye contact with his new practical toy. After realising that he looked as if he was in a state of shock (as he was), he changed back to his evil glare at the bulky item that was now located near his own. Lavi soon grinned again and said as confidently as he possible could, "Mines bigger!" he then nodded as what little life the class had left had turned towards the direction of the random remark.

The Earl scanned the room as his new students slowly reacted to Lavis' comment and said direct to Lavi but loud enough for the class to hear, "Technically, Lavi, that's impossible as your 'vital organ' doesn't contain any muscles to grow and advance." The Earl just smirked as he was pleased with that the silence had broken and continued with, "it grows and becomes stiff because your body pumps blood in to it when you think of… things that little dirty people could only think of." The girls in the corner giggled even more as the rest of the class sat stunned now knowing that their body 'aren't' entirely covered with muscles.

The Earl signed and went to collect a violet bag from one of the trays that say at the front of the room. He then returned to the centre of the room whilst holding the bag. The Earl scanned the room as his student appeared bewildered and lost by his fact they have already learnt something new. The Earl breaks the silence by holding up the bag and says, "In this bag contains many condoms. I put them in this bag because there all different colours and flavours but I don't want any one fighting for the best. I will go around and give you the chance to pick 'one' packet. Then I would like you to apply it as shown in this diagram that my akuma will provide." He then clicked his fingers and the akuma that where waiting for his command twitched and sprung in to action to deliver the requested sheets the students as the Earl went around the class with his bag.

Everyone soon perked up as their attention was diverted to something new that didn't need the artificial tool for the preparation of its usage. During that time, there were the odd nudges and gasps as they expect it to start to vibrate vigorously within the clamp; lucky enough they didn't even move (the batteries have been removed). When it was Allen's turn to obtain his packet from the bag, he excitedly launched his hand into the bag, still being extremely high on caffeine, his twitchy hand launch itself out of the bag faster than when it went in, as if there was something unexpected but cute that he had grasped. Allen soon inspected his catch, "oo, Banana flavour." He just smiled before everyone in the room slowly turned at amazement at how queer he was able to make that quote sound.

He then sat in his place, unwrapping the packet to reveal a small piece of yellow rubber, rolled up many times until it took the form of a ring. He then peered across towards the guide to help him focus on the tasks ahead. The then returned to face the large, over sized dildo that he had to face. He appeared calm and controlled (even though he did have the few odd twitches here and there) as he applied the thin, lubricated rubber to the top of the stiff but sturdy piece of equipment. Carefully pinching the top, knowing what is going to fill that space, then slowly unravelling it from its' coil like appearance into its' true protective form as the Earl watched over his progress. Once it was unravelled all the way to the bottom, he released his grip from the stretched rubber at the top. Then he inspected it closely without touching it making sure that wouldn't come loose when used under heavily conditions. Happy with his progress, he peered up at the Earl as if ready for an award. The Earl then closely inspected Allens work to make sure that his progress was good enough to prevent any nasty infections from a third party member. After he inspects Allen's work, he appeared across to Allen and smiled happily to inform him that he did well. The Earl promoted Allen with, "well done Allen, it won't be dripping tonight!" Allen, still in his child like state, didn't understand the Earls lame joke but only know that it must be something good.

Being finished with Allen, the Earl wobbled across to Kanda. At first, Kanda didn't notice the earls decent due to him still glaring at the item that was attached to his desk. But when he noticed that the Earl had stopped in front with his mysterious bag of goods. Kandas scowl swiftly rose to meet the Earls patient smile hovering in front of him. Kanda slowly returned his eye sight back to the perfect replica, unsure on if he should continue with the task. After deciding on avoiding any contact what-so-ever with it, he shifts his sight up at the Earls jolly appearance just to glare at him for the pain that the Earl has caused Kanda to embrace. The Earls notices his pose and says, "I know that you may have a problem with 'advancing with the task but you has to do it. It's very simple, take a packet out of the bag, open it and apply the content correctly. Kanda said nothing, just staring at the Earls command. The both stared at each other as moments seemed to take hours between them before the Earl raised his left arm and says, "Kanda, please don't push me?" Kanda just sat there, staring at the Earl. The Earl sighed then clicked his fingers. As he did, the Akuma twitched vigorously at the action and three of them darted towards Kanda whiles he stared at the Earl, not caring about the Akuma that the Earl has summoned. When they arrive beside Kanda, one of them grabs Kandas left arm whiles another grabs his right arm, fully stretching his pose in to a T shape. The Earl, desperate not to hurt Kanda, pleads to Kanda, "please Kanda, don't push me or you will suffer."

The Earl had stop smiling and gave Kanda a persuading glance, Kanda just scowled even harder, and says, "You don't dare!" The Earl looked away and then clicked his fingers one last time. The Akuma posed upon response. The Akuma that wasn't doing anything pulled Kandas stool back by a couple of feet, it then grabbed the collar of his shirt. Pausing briefly to enable it to grab Kandas nose, he just kept staring at the Earl, hoping that he would stop but the Earls sight is else where because he could stand to watch his minions about to torment Kanda. At this point, Kanda was gagging for air due to him having his nose pinched and the lack of oxygen entering his body. He could stand it, had to open his mouth to breath new air. Without warning, Kandas head fell, with increasing speed, towards the large rubbery equipment…

A flick of the Earls finders were heard again and Kandas' head stopped in place, only leaving an inch between his mouth and the toy. Kandas' eyes, fixed to the oversized instrument that was almost forced down into his mouth. Everyone's eyes were on Kanda except for the Earl who still had his back to Kanda. Kandas face suddenly busted into a deep red, his face still stunned at the forgiveness. The Earl turn to look at Kandas defenceless head, then the Akuma tilted him head in an upward motion, accidentally making Kandas chin rub on the tip of the tool. His eyes fixed on the Earls as the Earl peered at him, calm and ready. The Earl went closer to Kanda and kneeled down so his eye level is the same as his. The Earl said with absolute confidence, "now I'm giving you the chance for forgiveness, now what will it be?" The silence in the room didn't come to them as a surprise. Seconds felt like hours for Kanda as he had to decide to either allow the Earl to continue or surrender. Then the sight of what he must embrace if he resists flashes before him the sight of it was quick but he could hear a constant gargling sound. This was too mush for Kandas mental suppression, and a single tear ran down his right eye and over his red cheeks as he started to shake. The Earl understood the plea and said to give Kanda the benefit, "far enough-" he then clichéd his fingers and the Akuma let go of Kandas disturbed body and raced to the front of the room as if nothing had happened. Kanda sat up, crossing his arms and started to slightly rock back and forth, cradling him self, "I'm sorry Kanda, I kind of lost myself with that," the Earl insisted. Kanda did nothing but look at the floor whiles rocking himself.

The Earl soon continues around the classroom asking other students to perform the very same task that Allen had done, with success. They were too happy to perform the task as quickly and effectively as they possibility could, mostly because they didn't want to have the same treatment that Kanda had received only moments ago. The Earl was pleased with most of their progress, but when they did make a mistake like if they didn't pinch the top in the right place or applied it up-side down, they quickly panicked and hope that the Earl would forgive them. One person did everything right with centimetres of accuracy, but they sneezed at the lubricated piece of rubber. She looked up at the Earls smiling face. The horror of going though what Kanda went though went through here mind like a nightmare. She couldn't stay steady, her head pounding, the stress was too much for her and she fell flat onto the floor. The Earl looked down at her in shock that his pupil has just fainted before him and is now lying on the cold concrete floor. He says to the fainted student, "Now why did you go and do that." In a sarcastic way, "it was good enough as it was. The worst you could get was a cold from that." He then smiles at the all of the student then he picks one of the bigger students and asks, "David, can you take Kelly down to the office and stay with her until either she wakes up or someone comes to help you." The boy nodded and scooped the motionless pupil of the floor and away out of the class room door as the Earl could only smiled and watched as they went to refuge.

Then the Earl just realised what he has just done, the boy he has just sent off was the last to carry out the objective, he turns to the class, not knowing how to proceed. He soon perks up and says, "Right, let's learn about testing your self and others for testicle cancer." Everyone looked at the Earl, not in horror but surprise as that they didn't know that they were going to be taught to test them selves and others, hoping that they don't have to drop their trousers and test them selves 'personally.' The Earl then made his way to another tray and turned to the class to see if their attention was on him, "alright class, and there will be another sheet coming around with the basic way of testing yourself." He just smiled, knowing that he was about to pull a prank on them, "right, Lavi, can you come to the front and help me with something?" Lavi went all red as everyone's head spun to meet his confused gaze. Not sure what to do, but more concerning of what the Earl was going to make him do, he rose from his stool and wondered across in the direction of the Earls gawk .

As he halted near the front desk, he still kept the Earl in his sight. The Earl smiled even more and flicked him fingers and all of a sudden, two Akuma were latched to his arms, everyone gasped. The Earls smile vanished and he stepped closer to Lavi. Lavi, being able to guess what he was going to do, do nothing but bit his lip and looked up at the ceiling. The Earl stopped in front on Lavi, even though the only thing Lavi can see is the ceiling and the top of his hat. The Earl gazed at the rest of the class as if checking to see if they know what Lavi knows. His sight returned to Lavis and then the corner of his mouth twitched upwards as his arm raised and his arm posed ready to make a flicking noise.

The Earls hand made the distinct noise that the entire class have heard far too often, as it happened, Lavi's eyes shut tight as everyone else gasped at what came next. The Akuma sprung in to action and launched Lavi's hands straight forward, turning them upward, as if moving him into a disadvantage from the oncoming element. Lavi bit harder on his already purple lip. As Lavi stood there with his eyes shut tight, the Akuma released their grip as most of the weight of the world landed in his over stretched hands. With the extreme weight and the unexpectedness of the surprise, Lavi's hands fell straight down and thudded as they hit the cold floor. Lavi wailed slightly to the shock, still keeping his eyes shut tight as if he didn't want to loose any respect that he has earned over the years. As every one sighed at the discovery, Lavi opened one eye slightly as if scared of what he has. Lavi's poor sight revealed that the objects are small but heavy, and most distinctly, round and rubbery. With this information, his eyes shot open. His gaze was focused on the objects that lay before him in his hands.

The round, rubbery balls lay motionless in Lavis' hands as the entire class looked down at Lavis' squatted pose on the floor. As he rose off the stained floor with his gifts that the Earl had tricked him with. When Lavis legs had fully stretched, his gaze kept raising until his met the Earls smile. The Earls just said, "I just wanted to see what you would do if I truly scared you." Lavis white face soon turned red with anger as he realised that he was tricked by someone who use to be their enemy. His eyebrows then moved upwards as if he was trying to change his rather humiliating situation rapidly by juggling the offending balls in a cheesy (Lavi like) manner. The Earl stood there watching Lavi's antics, as he stupidly formed Lavi to hand out the balls to the rest of the class. At which point, Lavi gained a stupid grin on his face and proceeded to haphazardly toss the balls, two by two, to his fellow class mates who watched him in horror as the offending objects pelted most of the students in the face whilst he juggled the first balls that the Earl had rewarded him with his other hand.

When Lavi had finished his task of handing out the 'tools of the task' and every ones gaze left Lavi to examine the deformed balls that were either rolling off the table or are stuck to their body parts like their hands and legs (good throw ^^) due to their sticky outer layer. Some people noticed right away as for the rest, haven't noticed that there was something missing from their table. The Akuma have ran off with their 'artificial organs' and the clamps that held them in place are gone as well. Whilst everyone was wondering what had gone missing from their desks. One person shot straight up and pointed at the Earl, who everyone neglected to check for suspicion. His finger was pointing at the Earls hand; this is because that he Earl is holding 5 – 6 of them that originally was fastened to the desks. His word were trembling with fear, of that none of them know if he had done something else whilst he has sneaking around, "the Earl has ran off with my dodos!" everyone then lost the will to live as that one of their class mates couldn't pronounce the word dild under 'extreme' conditions. But what made it worse is that he included the word "my" in his protest. This lonely announcer then wondered if he said the phrase right, screwing his face up as if thinking really hard about it. His friend, who was sat next to him, stood up off the grounded stool and whispered onto his partners' ear. Only a murmur could be heard but when his face went bright red with embarrassment, it was obvious of what was said. He then sat down and looked straight at the floor with gilt of what he was told. His partner then drifted back down only to but his hand on his disturbed friends shoulder for comfort.

Once order was restored back to the disturbed class, the Earl began to draw two large circles on the white board, "what you have before you is two artificial testees, each ball has a hard inner layer," and then draws two larger circles around the smaller ones, "and has a soft and squidgy outer surface." As the Earl continued his rant that most of the class was listening to, except for Lavi. Who was staring at the two sponge-like balls, thinking of what he could do to amuse himself. Then, his memory flashed back to the previous unforgettable lesson where he was able to make Allen swallow rat testees as a bet. As the memories of the previous experience faded away from Lavis' mind, his head slowly turned to meet Allen's 'eager to learn' smile. Lavi, full of excitement, dares, "Hey Allen, I bet a tenner that you can't swallow one for those balls." Allen's shaking head then froze in mid-aid for a couple seconds. This shocked Lavi, as if Allen was unable to do the task. Without warning, Allen's eyes then rolled into an upward direction towards the ceiling. As all of his muscles suddenly relax, allowing Allen's head to free-fall down onto the scared table. Allen then groaned and his head started to slide off to one side, eventually finding the edge where Allen then disappeared over the shallow verge.

The thud of Allen's stunned body surprised the class, except for the Earl. All the Earl did was sign as he turned to see Allen sleeping on the cold floor, snoring heavily. "it looks like those caffeine tablets have worn out" disappointedly said the Earl. He then stood their few a moment as he tries to decide in how to progress with the problem, as it slept on the worn-out class room floor. The Earl slowly started to lean forward as he rubbed his bone-like chin. Then, he shot back up with a smile on his face. He then turned to Lavi and said, "Alright Lavi, I want you to lay Allen out flat on the floor!" Lavi nodded and kneeled down to the stunned corpse that slept before him. After a quick sigh, Lavi bent down and started to untangle Allens arms and legs that appear to have a mind of their own.

Part way though the task, Allen groaned and said, "uurrr, *snore* Mana… " every one froze, "I don't want to get up today *snore*" Lavi then turned to the earl as if wondering what to do. The Earl only waved him hands to encourage him to do something, anything whilst whispering, "Go on!" Lavi then turned to Allen, curious of what to do. "erm… you don't have to get up" Lavi said in a 'obviously' deeper voice to Allen. Allen then groaned to signal that he understood. "Yeh… But… you have to… erm… lay flat on the flo- erm… bed, in your bed." Allen then groaned as he un-wrapped himself whilst on the floor. The Earl whispered, "Great work Lavi, I'll go get some water." He then left the room, not knowing what he was going to carry the water in.

Lavi, who is still kneeling on the floor, turns to look at Allens vulnerable body. He the smiled and got closer so he could whisper in Allens ear, "hey Allen, do you still want to do that bet?" hoping that Allen can't remember what it was. Allen then groaned as if to say that he accepts the torment. Lavi then started to develop a large grin across his face. He then turn to a lad, who was enjoying the entertainment, and asked, "hey mate, could you pas me one of those balls?" unsure of the unusual request, he said, "yeh, ok" and he then reached for one of the deformed balls off the table he was sitting at and throws it at Lavi. Unfortunately, Lavi catches and turns towards Allen. "Are you ready Allen?" he asked grasping the ball in his hand. Allen the nodded to confirm it, Lavi then pinched Allen's nose (so he can't breath) for a flash then Allens mouth opened widely to take in new air. With out hesitation, Lavi rolled the ball into Allen's mouth. Lavi watched as it went in to his mouth, over his tongue, and out of sight. Suddenly, Allen's eyes shot open as he rose to sit up right whilst holding his neck, making loud choking noises. "He's choking, someone help him!" screamed one of the class students.

Lavi then shot straight up and raised Allen so he was standing in front of him. He then turned Allen around, so Allen had his back to Lavi. He then swung his arms Allens sides and to the front. Whilst grabbing his hand, "brace!" Lavi ordered Allen. Everyone else was wondering, "brace for what?" Lavi then yanked Allen with his hands on Allen's stomach. Nothing much happened except that Allen was choking harder, not because he was choking on something that you wouldn't expect in his mouth, but because Allen now had something prodding him in his back. "He's still chocking! Do it Again!" Allen panicked as Lavi did it again… and again, and again. The entire class was frozen in the actual sight of Lavi pounding Allen like he is again, and again, and again. Finally, the ball is launched out of Allen's swollen mouth.

Every pair of eyes in the room left Lavi's and Allens 'session' and followed the ball as it flew in the air. As it took flight, there were the odd cheer and the excitement of the flying artificial tactical glided above everyone's heads. When it started to fall, everyone suddenly noticed that it was heading straight for the only person who wasn't watching the excitement, Kanda. As he rocked back and forth, it was almost like slow motion for everyone as they screamed, "KANDA!" in a long and deep shout. Kanda slowly turned his head towards the direction of the warning. As his eyes rose, they focused on the unidentified flying object (UFO, LOL) that was heading towards him, but it was too late to avoid.

All he could do is sit and watch the ball hurdle towards him. Direct hit, the ball slapped as it hit Kandas forehead, all he could do was close hit eyes. Giggles started to echo as the ball stayed on Kandas forehead. He opened his eyes to glare at the teasers as a dip of salver ran down his face. Then the sticky ball started to loose its grip and slowly rolled down his face, eventually falling off all together. He just glared at everyone, especially Lavi, who still was still grasping Allen around the gut. He then looked around, trying to find something to get his revenge without exceeding his already low mental capacity. He then looked at VersaFfion, she was one of the only people on Kandas side of the class, mostly because that she was probable more feared and friendlier, at the same time, than Kanda. Even Kanda feared embrace her wrath.

"erm, VersaFfion?" Kanda acknowledged. She turned around and smiled at Kanda scared face. "Erm… can you do something for me?" Kanda asked whilst quivering on his stool. "yeh, sure, but if only you help me when I need it!" she haggled. Everyone in the class gulped and slowly edged to the classroom door, just in case she goes over the top. Kanda got up and drifted over to VersaFfion, with a sigh, he sat down on the vacant stool that stood next to hers. He then leaned over, raising his hand to hide his mouth, and started to whisper into her ear. Only the occasional nod was signalled by VersaFfion in agreement to Kandas hisses. Everyone else could only wonder the horror that Kanda was whispering into her ear. Lavi then loosened his grip of Allen, who appeared to be in a coma but is just sleeping. Without Lavi's grip, Allen fell to the floor with a great thud.

When Kanda hisses stopped, VersaFfion turned her head to meet Kandas brave facial oppression."Ok, but its going to cost you a bit more that normal." she bargained and smiled gracefully. "Deal" he confirmed and they both shook hands. VersaFfion then stood up and went to the front of the class; everyone noticed two distinct things about her. She was glaring at Lavi and her right hand was behind her back with her body off at an angle. Her eyes then closed as she attempted to control her breathing. The slow rise and fall of her body was enough to scare everyone, including kanda. At this point, Lavi was worried, so he kept his hand on his holstered hammer.

She then stood up as if nothing had happened and asked, "Do you like potatoes?" as she walked to the centre of the room towards Lavi. This scared Lavi, all she did was smiled whilst she watched Lavi with her emerald green like eyes. "Erm…" Lavi managed to coble together, shaking because all she was just smiling. With Lavi shaking so much, his hammer was shaken out of the holster. Everyone's eyes followed the small hammer down as it clanged upon contact with the cold floor. A shiver ran up Lavis spine as he turned to face VersaFfion. She had returned in to that same stance, but something was different, little specks of dirt were rising slowly by hey power that is being generated by her innocence.

Her right hand then swung around her battle ready stance, she was grasping on a coiled whip. Her fingers released the whips over highly flexible, rod like item whilst gripping on the handle. At this point, it was too late for Lavi as the popper flew towards him with incredible speed. Before anyone knew it, the popper had already swung around Lavi's neck several times and been able to lock itself tightly. As Lavi grasped his neck to aid him to breath, he gazed at VersaFfion' pose. Then, she slowly opened her eyes, to reveal that her eyes have changed to a misty blue that stunned Lavi in his place. "hmm…" VersaFfion debated, "INNOCENCE ACTIVATE!"

Upon this demand, VersaFfion whip started to glow a beep purple. After a slight 'clink' was heard and little spikes shot up out of the whip and the Popper, that was levering the whip to Lavi's neck, opened up into a grand pattern of sharp points. VersaFfion tugged slightly to test if the whip had securely latched onto Lavi's neck. Kanda slowly edged his way to a position behind VersaFfion, next to the door

As Lavi started to feel the affects of VersaFfion deadly eyes, she then started to spin whilst holding the handle of the whip. Lavi had no choice but to allow it to happen. In no time at all, VersaFfion had already picked enough speed get Lavi air born and still increasing speed. Faster and faster Lavi flew around the room; a whistling sound could be heard, starting at a low deep note at when he started up to now where it had changed to a high squeak. Everyone in the classroom were watching the great that VersaFfion had got Lavi in to, because of the speed that Lavi was now travelling at, now one could keep up with the constant display of Lavi.

A plea could be heard from Lavi's stunned form as he still continued to become faster, VersaFfion wasn't even breaking a sweat, It was too easy for her and she deactivated her innocence. She got the timing right and Lavi flew towards the windows at the back of the class room as the grip of VersaFfion's whip released. Lavi crashed thought the large plain of glass with an almighty smash. Everyone's gaze drifted from the broken window back to VersaFfion calmer state. Her eyes slowly closed and her breathing was forcefully controlled. As shuffling of glass could be heard out of the window, VersaFfion eyes opened to reveal that they had returned back to the genital emerald green. She smiled and strolled towards the broken window. In a split second, she was able to jolt up onto the window ledge. Her sight scanned the fields in the distance for Lavi's figure but nothing could be seen.

Shuffling was emitted again, her sight shot downwards at Lavi's stunned body. Lavi was holding on the outside of the window frame with only three finger tips. As he turned to check the distance between him and the floor below, it was too far, their class in on the 5th floor and concrete slabs laid the entire area below Lavi's feet. As the strain of Lavi's weight starting to take affect on the only thing stopping him from hitting the floor, he quickly shifted his gaze upwards at VersaFfions' overpowering pose. A drip of sweat ran down his face as he persuaded, "please." She then squatted down so was closer to Lavi's scared oppression. "Why shouldn't I?" she bargained. "Erm-" Lavi was able to cobble together before VersaFfion interrupted with, "Not good enough!"

Her hand then stretched down to Lavi's three fragile fingers, "are you ready?" ask questioned with a smile. "I hope so…" Lavi answered, unsure of the pain that he is going to endure. "This little piggy went to the market…" VersaFfion sang as she prised away one of Lavi's fingers. Lavi groaned as his weight is now being a burden to two of his fingers. Then, "this little piggy stayed at home" she rhymed as she unleavened another one of Lavi's finger. Lavi then shunted down an inch, "please don't" Lavi pleaded as his arm had now started to shake. She just smiled and said, "and this little piggy went…" as she started to loosen Lavi's last finger, "WEE WEE WEE…" his finger gave way and he started to fall as VersaFfion continued, "all the way home." She just smiled at Lavi's descending form as he fell down.

It felt like decades for the class students, VersaFfion had enough time turn and jump off the windowsill, then reality hit them as a thud was heard. The silence was cold and harsh on the class, VersaFfion just stood there remembering the epic disaster that her parents had to face as all she could do was watch them fall. Kanda, who was still perched next to the door, started to grin at the succession of his revenge.

He strolled towards VesaFfion, but before he could start, the door swung open and Kanda disappeared though the thick orange door. Lavi emerged triumphant from the dull hallway, entering the room with crimson dripping off the tip of is fingers. VersaFfions head rose to meet Lavis' proud gleam as one foot after another, Lavi entered. "Ow," Lavi answered sarcastically, still stunned by VersaFfions innocence. VersaFfion was about to ask about Lavis' quick ascend up to their fifth floor, but it got interrupted when the door slammed shut. Everyones' sight shifted to the, now closed door. Kanda was stood there, with the odd here and there hair sticking up with the occasional twitching eye.

Lavi turned to meet Kandas' unstable state, Lavi said, "oh... Kanda... I didn't see you there." Kandas' face went red as he started to growl with anger of Lavi rude re-entry to the class. Kanda was noticeably gritting his teeth, grinding them from side to side. Without warning, Kanda charged at Lavi with his arms stretched out ready to grasp the first thing that enters Kandas range. Lavi was shocked by Kandas battle roar as he raced towards Lavi's unready stance. Upon reaching his striking distance, Kanda clamped his hands around Lavi's exposed neck, leaving no room for mistakes. Kanda, still angry with Lavi, tightened his grip. Starting slowly and working its way up, Kanda starts to rock Lavi's head back and though as the only thing Lavi could do was choke.

It felt like hours as kanda and Lavi swayed back and though, Kandas grip not loosening from Lavi's neck. Wet and agonising noises came from Lavi as he started to rock more and more. Kanda was still gritting his teeth, giving Lavi a strange display of Kandas partially yellow teeth. Then, shocking the class, the door shot off its hinges as the Earl charged into the room carrying a large red 'FIRE' bucket filled with ice cold water. "Wake up Allen!" was blasted into the class room right before a mass amount of water flew though what was left of the door frame and headed for Kanda and Lavi's throttling session. Direct hit, the water slaps against their faces. Kandas onslaught on Lavi soon stopped. As Kanda held Lavi in front of him, Lavi's view rose to a gaze upon Kandas wet and miserable facial oppression. Lavi's, being him self, starts to laugh at Kanda. Kanda, not having any of it, raises his left hand up and over his damp right shoulder. Screwing it in to a ball launches it out towards Lavi's jester like laugh, launching him towards the brittle windows.

After a silent sigh, Kanda edges his head towards the Earl, revealing his most secret attack, 'the death glare.' The Earl got hit hard and starts to shake as Kandas deadly eye contact continued. Eventually, the Earl submitted and was literally sitting on the floor. Kanda approached the Earls scared figure that lay on the floor. Grabbing the nearest thing to him from a random table, he raised it above his head as if ready to hit the Earl over the head with it. The Earl gazed at Kandas temporary weapon and started to move backwards as if he is scared of Kandas wrath.

Kanda notices that he isn't glaring at the Earl and that the Earl is really scared of Kanda. So he becomes curious of the Earls fear of him, "if it not my glare, it must be…" Kanda thought to him self as his sight raised to his random weapon. Kanda went as white as a ghost as the item started to ooze its way from his grasp. No one moved an inch; it was as if time had stood still for Kanda to react to the shock. Kanda is holding a dild0 above his head, and then the thought of what the Earl was expecting hit Kanda like a flying house brick. He was going to slap the Earl across the head with a dild0. -_-

As the class stood in silence of Kanda method of discipline, the bell fires the rapid arsenal of rings to signal the end of the lesson. The Earl, still scared of Kanda, runs out of the door and says fading, "Class is over, see you tomorrow." After a quick breather, everyone rushes out and though the damaged door frame. Once everyone had left and the dust had settled, Kandas figure could be seen frozen in place with his arm still raised high. He sighs again and the dild0 drop out of his hand and on to his head. After allowing it to rolling off, Kanda drifted to his seat to acquire his sword. He turns and steps over Allen's corpse-like figure on his way out of the room.

As silence fell in the class, only Allen's silent breathing could be heard as the sun started to descend down and over the distant landscape, painting the sky in a misty reds and blues until it finally disappeared for the rest of the day.

Note to everyone, kanda was wearing nothing, Allen was wearing a clown outfit and a pumpkin mask, earl has a chandelier on his top hat, and Lavi was wearing a panda outfit whilst occasional grazing on a mysteriously appeared bamboo trunk. VersaFfion was wearing jeans, commando sleeveless shirt and black hiking boots with little fish prints…

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Note;

Pip is feeling a lot better now ;) even though she is ditching us English.

(According to pip, she has devastated one of the paragraphs – guess which '-' I don't think so, the original was going to be a load of rubbish)

I called the Earl "usagi" because I couldn't get the image of Earl having rabbit ears out of my mind. (Usage meaning rabbit in Japanese) (taken from an add in when Allen and Kanda have found the innocence in a Doll and right before the Akuma comes and rips it out {volume 2})

Gawk means stupid gaze – don't believe me, .com/browse/gawk

Squatted pose - think of squat thrust, back straight as you bend you legs to go down (looks like a frog - lol)

The part where the lad calls a dild a Dodo (bird) may appear a little strange, sorry

For the Americans, a Tenner is £10 (English), equivalent to $20 before the credit crunch

When Lavi is saving Allen, it is called the Heimlich Manoeuvre - don't believe me, .org/wiki/Choking (look at picture)

Can I say that VersaFfion isn't always that angry but she has the same strength and destructive point, probable more. I accidentally tripped her up and the next thing I knew, I woke up from coma that lasted 2 weeks -_- yay, no school

You may see some words being made up by other lettering and signs – E.G. rse (very English ^^) – this is because that me and my friends like to view these stories at our college but there is a filter profile that will activate when ever the proper spelling is used. Not nice

Also, VersaFfion is a good friend of mine. I know how devilish she could be so I wanted her to beat Lavi up, and then I told her and thought about giving her an innocence of her own. Her innocence has taken the form of a whip. She can also change her eyes so the can do different things depending on what level she activates them at. She is using that at level 1, this level is capable of stunning the foe. (I think her eyes are blue, but not quite sure-too scared to ask and look). She wanted the whip; I wanted to give her a berserk power but I think that would make her appear like everyone's imagination of Leanne then the robot wanted to 'reconstruct her strength' (he girl).

Popper is the thing at the end of the whip.

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Once I have finished this story, I am probably going to write another but of what. So I am going to give you the chance to pick for me. I am willing to make any story that you like. If you do, could you give me a theme and a couple ideas? Like – farming, Lavi accidently pushes Kanda into a pile of fresh horse P. But if you do, the story will either be really short or will take a long time to complete. (This story alone has taken me far too long) I only started to try and make VersaFfion smile (mostly because i don't want to get hit by her scythe -_- then set upon by her chickens, Harvey is too nice to attack me ^^)

However simple they may seem, I can make them really complex and funny and include and great ideas that you can give me. Example – swimming – Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Leanne go swimming. The earl is the life guard, Allen tries to enter with a large jacket and gloves but the earl prevents him, Kanda packed tiny Speedos and when Allen dives, he loses his shorts. Leanne cheats at a race by activating her boots and Lavi dares Allen to swallow the Earls whistle... (I can go on forever – lol)

But if you don't, then I will start on a story about +Anima that I wrote notes on before I started with this story (it going to be a biggy). And in result, I can't write any stories that you have suggested (unless they are really good, then I will abandon the +Anima and write your story). I hope you enjoyed my first story. It may seem a bit random near the end due to adding 'small' amounts to it (5-10 minutes worth-in full time education).

Regards, Anton

This is just random rambling now because I spend all of my time writing this, putting all of my effort in to it and all I get is eight thousand and eighty four words -­_- so I'm going to talk about random stuff like English weather or a really disturbing thing that my brother like to do on a daily basis. So… you can read this if you want but I'm just going to ramble about a load of random stuff. Have you read VersaFfions D. Gray-man story let? If you haven't, you better because its really good, what ever she says, its really good. Not too long and really gorse at the same time. I've already read it 3 times this week. I really feel sorry for that rat in to. (kanda feel sick but controllable). Alright, I've warned you, now your going to get it. My brother really distrusting bits. Lol ^^. Do you want to know what makes me feel sick about my brother… his smell! Now, I can easily say that I can cope with cow and pig smell, mostly because they are mostly clean but gets dirty quickly. I kinda become sick at the smell of Max (dog) after he has just eaten his own poo. I mean literarily his own freshly dumped – deposited – dispersed poop =P I warned you. No my brother smells like rotting fish under the baking sun (well… not whiles in Britain – raining and it may . - not happy). This college that I go to is like my sanctuary for me. It allows me to meet up with my friends, and to avoid my brothers sickening smell. Great ^ ^. I kinda feel sick right now, even though my brother is miles away. But I know why but I'm not abridged to say why because its giving me a headache, saw thought and a damaged heart. Do you know one of the things that I hate the most the chavs at my college, I've been many other place and the chavs there are really nice to me. Even though I am shorter than them, they like helped me out when our car broke down and gave us a good game of snooker. But, the Chavs at our college are a bunch of d1ckhea6s, really. I know that I'm not the most dumbest but… come on. I had my photography class redirected to the library because of exams and there were only two of us so. Then a woman entered asking if she could have her class in there with us. We allowed it and guess what happened. She re-entered again with three different groups of people. There were four tables, I took one, and they had the rest. The first group were entirely chavs – male, skinny, yellow teeth and trousers down to their knees, they also went straight for the only table at the back of the class. I really wanted to drop kick them but then the second group entered. They were all slu77s – female, short, fat, tight trousers, burbry jackets, necklaces that look like they have been stolen from a push bike 10 minutes ago and pink mobile phones -_- I think I was at my limit but then the third and final group entered. At this point the two groups were emitting enough noise to make the windows melt, (really, I got asked to clean it up- for twenty quid ^^) the third group entered and took the table at the front of the class. They seemed alright, kinda feel sorry for them, two thirds of the class were chavs -­_-. Do you know what is the best thing about friend when they are hyper active whilst sitting on the side of a desk that you are sitting at? they always try to kick your balls in. true… but David (I mean big – they had to raise the ceiling by half a meter just so he can sneeze with out collapsing the roof in on to everyone else {I recon that when he goes home, they use him as a pillar to hold the house up}) he always tries. I sit there giving him a game of chess, then out of now where he swings his size 17 (British) at me. I can tell you, I doesn't half hurt. Don't worry, I don't play chess often, it just that David is good and I'm better so I only play for money now. If there is nothing to be won, I don't play – a bit like Allen except im better at cheating, true. He even offered some of his sacred fruit flapjack that he makes for his self for every day. How strange, why wont he just bring the stuff in to college and cook it in the food and design department, weird. He actually beat me the other day, I was telling a joke about two men getting a second chance to the advisor and whilst my back was turned (i am really god at playing with my back turned) he nudged my queen (that was obliteration his pieces) to a square to the side. Because it was on that space, it could get attacked by everything and won't live another turn. Waaaa poor queeny, it got killed because i wasn't cheating (oops... did i say that too loud). We were doodling on a white board in the atic this dinner, mostly because we all were bored. You missed it VersaFfion, i drew a really good dragon (no where near to quality of yours) but it was good. Then i added a speech bubble and wrote "i like cheese" because... i like cheese. I thought it was really funny and so i went to get my camera from the other room. But someone thought is was funny to hide it out of the window, so i spent a good ten minutes looking for it whilst listening to Shinedown (i don't like bands, only singles) on the big headphones that i they stocked up on. I couldn't hear much, i didn't really think it was a necessary to 'ear wig' on everyone else (i have really good sense of smell and sound). Once i re-entered to add the final touched=s to my beautiful dragon, Alister had desecrated it, he drew a little daisy in its' ear and wrote something in the speech bubble. When he notice me coming, he gave my dragon a good wipe. Destroying most of the speech bubble and part of the dragons head (i only drew the head so its a no brainer if you can not guess what was left). I was really unhappy so i kicked Alister up the rse (when i got home, i noticed a little stain of yellow on my boot that i have never seen before -_-), i am sure his head touched the ceiling. As everyone had seen my talent, they started to come up with ideas for me to draw, in the end, i drew Scooby Doo (collar and all). It was really good. I was shocked at the detail and realism of it (no shadows thou). Then i felt a head ache coming, with out warning big Dave sneaked up behind me and hit me over the head with an empty metal paint pot. This drove my head ache the moon, so i went to my bag again to take some paracetamel (painkillers – can't spell). The only problem is that these aren't the best tablets in the world, these literally turned to power in your mouth (they are not suppose to) making me feel sick, so i sat on the radiator for a moment taking a breather whilst listening to a quicker version of Skillet, last night (youtub - pitch last night) then i heard the word "Hummp!" coming from the room with the picture in. So i re-entered again to see that Alister had written something like "my only sensation is when a dog Hummped my face" -_- i was not happy at this stage and i went up to Alister and demandingly asked "what are you doing to my work?" he turned to face me, frozen in place. Then joe said something so i turned to look at him. Before i knew it, this little short lad with white hair (Alister) had grabbed me and slid me across Scooby doos face. I was really angry at him now so i chose to get him on the floor and sit on him (he is a lot smaller than me and weaker – but still annoying to deal with). When I got bored of Alister squirming like a little sissy girl. I got of and looked at the damage. It was to much to repair, so a did a new. So i wiped it clean to think of a new character to create. Then the animal Frog got shouted down my ear (whilst i had my head phone on – thank god). Thinking that frogs are really easy to draw, i drew it and it looked really cool. It actually looked like the little fat frog from Naruto. So i drew a speech bubble ready for me to fill with another random quote of the day like "i saw a rabbit to day, yum" (random as that frogs don't eat rabbits. Then my phone started to vibrate telling me that swine flu drove my car to work today, all it said was oink. After dealing with the message, Alerster was on the bored again writing, "i like to stretch my tongue over the fence and into your bed room. It was your husband last night." I was shocked at what he had written, but as that it had not offended anyone, i just laughed with everyone. Then joe put the "Evil Masked Swine Flu Man" mask on (its just an empty printer paper cover with two holes in for the eyes, and i drew a pigs nose and worst smile in the world – he also has been wearing it all dinner ^^) and demanded that i wrote something funny in the speech bubble about him. Thinking "what the hell?" i did, and i wrote "i am the Evil Masked Swine Flue Man! *sneeze*" i could tell that he was pleased with the complement. Then i noticed that it was half past so i dived off to go to the other hall for my photography lesson. So un fair, i have to do an eight hour exam tomorrow (eighth may), well... it kinda stretches from five hours tomorrow and three hours Monday (11th may). Dam it, it's giving me a head ache just think about what to do in the exam. Everyone in the class looks up to me for help and as a peer (quite funny as i have a really nasty scab on my chin that is driving up the wall). I was thinking of doing a physical photo joiner of a tree... then adding words and diagrams all over it. My idea came from Gwon Osang (who does physical photo joiners) and Alicia Bewlow (who likes to Photoshop loads of thing together t make one picture) using the theme Sanctuary - Natural Forms. Wow this actually took no time at all to write, and i aint lying about the whiteboard bits because my head still hurts from that metal paint tub.


End file.
